Appearing on Dancing With the Stars has, inexplicably, helped lying ex-hooker Heather Mills improve her image with U.S. audiences. Apparently, all you need to make Americans like you is a sparkly dress, a plastic leg and some amateurish mambo-moves - and this is probably why the Muslims and the Hindus all hate us. Anyway, given Mills's success, it was only a matter of time before more Brits with profile-problems in the U.S. started taking a serious look at a little Dancing With the Stars-based image-therapy. And who can we think of right off the top of our heads who's trying to break through in the U.S. but is having trouble getting out the word? Yup - Poshy. Reportedly, the Dancing With the Stars folks have offered Victoria Beckham a chance to appear next season - and Poshy is said to be seriously mulling the offer. Here's what a source associated with the show had to say about the prospect of Poshing up the program:
We are halfway through the series and it has been massive. A lot is down to Heather. ... We really want Victoria. She's not very popular right now, like Heather wasn't. That's why she'd be perfect. ... Also, she might get pals like Tom Cruise and Jennifer Lopez to watch her.
Shit, Poshy - they dissed you. "She's not very popular right now, like Heather wasn't." Hell, Poshy may not be the most well-liked broad in the world, but I seriously doubt people despise her the way they did (and still do) Mills. Granted, Poshy seems about as worthless as Mills, but at least she hasn't tried divorcing David and stealing his money - yet.
Oh, and something Crabbie doesn't get: "Also, she might get pals like Tom Cruise and Jennifer Lopez to watch her." Um, who gives a shit? They don't have Nielsen boxes, do they? They're Tom Cruise and Jennifer Lopez - like the nation is going to watch Posh on Dancing With the Stars just cause they know Cruise and Lopez are. "This show must be cool, cause Tom and J-Lo watch it." Please. We may be lame and stupid, but we're not that lame and stupid.